Steps to Living with Loss

Loss.

The fact or process of losing something or someone.

Loss is something that we all go through.

It’s evident.

It’s apart of life.

And it sucks.

The pain of losing a loved one  is something we can all relate too.

I’ve been alive for 22 years and in that time I’ve lost five people. Last year I had lost three within months of each other. It was hard and weird. They were always there and than suddenly they’re not. They were a constant figure in my life, encouraging me, loving me and than they left a hole. A hole that I have to learn to live with. A hole that over time gets smaller and smaller.

Losing someone you’ll go through a process. A period of time where you’ll feel sadness and even anger. Eventually you’ll feel at peace.

Before I talk about what helped me you need to understand that everyone deals with death differently. Everyone goes through their personal journey of grief differently.

Remembering

A way that helped me heal was remembering the times I had spent with that person. Remembering what they taught me. Taking in the skills and traits that I admired about them and projecting them out into the world through myself. My grandma was a strong confident woman and I do my best to reflect those traits. It’s hard sometimes but I channel the people I lost in hopes that they are looking at me with pride.

Flip through old photographs. Play old memories. Cherish the good times you had. Reflect on what they taught you. Celebrate the time you had with them, through the good and bad times and push on. Fight on. Live on for them.

Talk and Cry

Talking about it helps. You are your own person therefore you can talk about it when you’re ready. Opening yourself to talk about it verbally gets your feelings off of your chest. It’s a relief once you do. Everything you had been bottling up becomes lighter. You can cry. It’s okay to cry. Crying as hard as it might be to believe is not a sign of weakness. Letting yourself be vulnerable is a sign of strength. Crying is another way to get the emotions your bottling up out.  

Do What Makes You Happy

Focus your energy on something that makes your heart feel light and smile brighter. Throwing yourself into something can help but if it doesn’t make you happy you’re just making yourself more miserable.

Family and Friends

Don’t hide behind a mask. Don’t be alone. Surround yourself by your loved ones. Let them help you. Let them carry you. Don’t turn to alcohol or  drugs. Turn to love. They can help you find your strength.

You have to learn to live without them but even though they aren’t with you physically they’re not really gone. They’re in your eyes, your smile, the way you talk, your laugh, and your heart.

In the beginning it seems like the end of the world but it isn’t…at least not for a few thousand years. It gets a little easier everyday. Keep your chin up and your heart strong. You’re capable of handling more than you think.

Give yourself time to heal. Every wound heals differently.

You don’t get over grief. Instead you learn to live with it. You turn that pain, that sadness into acceptance and celebration.

 

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”

–Vicki Harrison

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