Recently things haven’t been exactly going my way. I’m slowly feeling a little lost. I’m ‘making moves’ but I’m not sure if they’re what I want or what I should be doing. I’m hoping they’ll take me to my goal. But what is my goal? What is it that I want to accomplished? I feel a bit stranded.
Let’s look back at my New Year’s resolution:
- Travel more (Started but there’s more for me to explore)
- Gym (mainly yoga) (Joining a gym today as soon as I upload this!)
- Keep up this blog (I think I’ve been doing good)
- Focus on YouTube more (I need to sit and learn how to use Premiere Pro, yikes!)
- Do more of what I’m afraid of (Baby steps)
Looking at this list I’m slowly accomplishing it. But I am getting lazy with it. I need to re-focus. Get back in the groove. I need to find that feeling again. The feeling I had when I was excited for the year. I was excited for the challenges and opportunities to come. But now that vision is foggy.
I need to do some 4 months into 2018 soul searching.
Reconnect with myself and my goals.
Find that passion I had.
Ignite that flame again.
But I’m not only lost in life. I’m lost in school. I’ve finally obtained my AA which was a bloody process. I had let school fall behind and what was suppose to take 2 years took 4. I’m now transferring to a university.
A university. Me. I’m still in disbelief. Even though it’s the school everyone in my city goes to, it’s surreal. Thankfully it’s online WHICH will help finish the goals I’ve listed. See what I did there? I’m making things work in full circle. And I have a less chance of bumping into people from high school. Let’s face it no one likes that. But did I choose the right major? It’s not what I had originally planned. It’s still in the same field.
Did I make the right decision?
Did I make the wrong one?
But you know what that means? I’m going to be killing myself with work.
On top of school I have this blog, rehearsals for a musical, an administrative job, and a writing internship. Funny thing is, it doesn’t feel like enough. Like I’m missing something that I haven’t quite found. There’s something that I’m suppose to be doing.
I’m not sure what it is. I can feel it though, coursing through my veins. Something good is coming.
Guess I really need to do some soul searching.
Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. -Henry David Thoreau