In elementary school everything is sunshine and rainbows. We smile and laugh with our friends. Drama free, worry free, mentally free from the chaos of feelings and bills.
We have this thought in our head that we’ll be friends forever; yearbooks filled with sappy messages promising such a thing.
But here is the reality, it’s not like that. Friendships bloom, grow, and sometimes die. They wither with the threat of decaying unless you water it with communication and revive it or let it die.
You don’t have to keep every friendship you make. It’s impossible. People grow up, people change. You can’t fight change. Instead you embrace it and whoever is still on the ride of your life are the one.
Some friendships will last decades and some will last one semester of college. You shouldn’t beat yourself up for it.
However, some people who do not understand the flow of relationships, wrongly presume that when friendships fade, someone has done wrong. They believe a fading friendship is the sign of selfishness, or a lack of caring. And yes, it could be any of those things or it could be it is simply a change in life setting. People grow up. They learn about the world and their attitude or mindset changes.
One of my best friends of 10 years we rarely hang out due to our schedules BUT we’re always there for each other no matter what. We have an understanding of our lives and through that understanding we manage our relationship through communication. We may not talk 24/7 but the simple good morning text shows that we still care.
One of my cousin’s friends once told me, “Friendship isn’t measured by the amount of hours you hang out but by who stayed with you even when you weren’t around.”
A friendship should never feel like an obligation. Your friends should want to be with you. The bottom line is that a true friendship should stay on a 50/50 effort level. If the percentage starts to drastically decrease, then that might be the sign to talk to them.
Communication is the key in any relationship whether it be romantically or platonic.
As you get older you’ll learn that you need to surround yourself with people who are there to support you instead of bringing you down. Find those who help your lighter shine brighter not diminish it.
“Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who walked into your life, said “I’m here for you”, and proved it.”