There are few moments in my days where I feel at total peace. And as of late I’ve been needing them more and more. It’s hard to describe what I’m feeling. Life is roller coaster and while the high’s are great it’s the lows that I can get trapped in. I think we all as people get trapped by our own darkness every once in a while and there’s nothing wrong with that. Life isn’t meant to be rainbows but we have to remember we can’t dwell in the belly of the devil. We have to break free no matter how sad it may feel.
Therefore when I am at my low points there are few things that help. Besides the usual hanging out with the people I care about those are obvious answers that most people will say. But the less obvious answers include driving and self care.
Whenever I’m out driving my favorite times to drive are during the sunrise and sunset. I also allow one day out of the week where I’m completely free of any work and I use that day as a self care day.
On my drives to work I’ll casually glance over at my window while playing some of my favorite songs and marvel at the way the sun paints the sky in red and orange in the morning. This usually happens either after 7 am or just about. My car smells like coffee and my vocals fills the tiny space. I feel a sense of calmness. I feel almost transparent; as if I’m in this world as a ghost, merely unraveling it’s wonders.
And when the sun sets the sky erupts in colors of rose and lavender. It takes me aback. How does the sun do that? How can these colors be so vivid yet feather like. You can’t help but ponder how something so ethereal can exist. Some of my days can be overwhelming and I feel lost, in a rut but in those moments all my fear and pain wash away for a minute.
I look forward to those drives everyday. It’s one of the few times I come at peace with myself. One of the few moments I just breathe.
Saturdays have increasingly become one of my favorite days. I have a routine that I actually don’t get tired of. I wake up, clean my house, do extra steps in my skin care and use a hair mask to let my natural hair breathe. Saturdays are for a makeup free, natural me to fly. I get excited to face masks and relax. Even if I decide to go to lunch with my best friend I let my body breathe in it’s natural state. I look forward to this day every week. Sometimes you have to give your body a break from the torture of the work week and what better day to do it than an day off?
Do you ever take those moments in? Sometimes I sit outside and hear the birds chirp in a melody with the rustling of car engines roaring down my street. I feel the breeze caress my cheek in a cool embrace. I watch the trees rustle in a dance and I stare at the clouds. The sky is a wondrous thing. It’s almost never-ending and every day its changing. Everyday I’m changing.
I worry a lot. I’m the book definition of a worry wort and I can’t help it no matter how hard I try. Many people think I shouldn’t be so stressed at my age. Everyone no matter what age has some form of stress. We look at kids and wonder, “what do they have to be worried about?” But kids worry about their grades and their family and friends more than we care to try to relate to. I’ve seen it first hand. I’ve had them break down in front of me. What we may not find important in the grand scheme of things is the center of their world at the moment. And than when they get to my age it doubles. It’s not just about grades but worrying about their major, their future, being social, developing relationships, keeping relationships, jobs, internships, whether they are trying enough, taking care of themselves and paying bills.
There is so much going on we forget to just breathe. To not let our life suffocate us. Sometimes it’s hard to breathe and in those moments a light switches on and we remember what’s important.
Another thing that my generation tends to find difficulty understanding is that it’s okay not to be working or doing something productive every single hour of every single day. It’s okay to have a day to yourself. To relax, light a candle and binge Netflix like there’s no tomorrow. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I struggle with this. I get restless when I have nothing to do. I’m unsure what to do with myself. I feel like every second I’m not searching for/ applying to internships or writing, filming, creating is a second being wasted. I look at others becoming successful and I put myself down. Forgetting we all have our own road map created by some higher being depending on what you believe in. So I just breathe, watch a movie or anime as I sip some wine and let time do it’s thing. Granted I do apply myself when I must but if I don’t have to the world won’t end by me taking a self-care day. But let’s not get stuck in our break of relaxation. We have to jump back into work at some point or nothing will ever happen.
So I challenge you all to take at least five minutes of your day or a whole day to just breathe. Relax. Quiet your mind. On your day off let it actually be your day OFF. Unplug and unwind.
You might surprise yourself.
“We’re not in this life just to work, we’re in it to live.”
― Cecelia Ahern, The Gift