My Mental Health and Me

Mental health awareness day was just a few days ago but it’s something we should take note of every day. Mental health has become extremely important the past years. It’s become a topic more people are ready to talk about. I’m one of those. I know personally from being an anxious introverted pessimistic perfectionist. That sounded like a lot. 

I tend to bottle all of my stress until I explode. Socializing is incredibly taxing on my body. Even ordering something makes me nervous. I replay conversations so I don’t mess up what I’m saying. I’m a worry wart for just about anything and I occasionally get anxiety attacks. Yes I get those. It doesn’t happen often because like I mention I bottle things up but it does happen. (Wow things just got real.) I bottle all the stress I didn’t even know I was stress about and some tiny pebble will fall in a river making me crack. As scary as it sounds it’s something I’m self-aware about and I’ve been doing okay on handling it.

But you probably wouldn’t have guess that. You probably never knew. I am an actress of course. But it’s hard. I feel emotions on a deeper level. I take on the world and push through until the weight of the world starts to tip-off my shoulders.

Mental health is incredibly important and it starts off young. The way I act, think and deal with things now have been results of what was happening at an early age. Trying to shift that takes time and hard work.

I try to make everyone happy for the fear of them leaving. That’s a huge realization. People pointing out how skinny I was my whole life is why I feel safer in baggy clothes. I hunch my shoulders because people would point out how tall I was. These are just a few things that have affected me growing up and I’m still trying to shake off. They affect me every day and every day I’m conscious of it to break the cycle.

I may look like I’m fine but I’m anything but that. I try to keep my captions on Instagram real, I try to post about these things so that others will feel more connected. So they won’t feel alone because I know what that’s like. I thankfully have friends who understand and try their best to help me.

Therefore take a break.  If it’s 6 PM sign off of work, put on some PJ’s and snuggle up on the couch. You’ve done a lot just by getting out of bed. It’s the little victories throughout the day that help us continue on. It could be a small achievement like waking up, eating breakfast, going for run or simply just looking outside and realizing the world is still going and so are you.

As bleak as it may seem, as hard and impossible it may seem you can get through anything. I know personally what I can get through just by looking back at all the mountains I’ve climbed. Sometimes we just need to remember. It’s okay to feel happy, sad or upset. We all feel things on different levels for different reasons. Never feel shame for it. We’re all going through something. 

So like I said: give yourself a break. Your mental health IS important because every day in the car, on the bus, at work, in the bathroom, kitchen or bed you’re stuck with yourself. You’re stuck with your voice in your head and it’s a lot easier if you get along.

Relax, reflect, rethink, relax.

Take care of yourself.

You matter.

“My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I already was strong, and they made me prove it.” – Emery Lord

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