Yesterday I graduated. I was under the most stress I had ever been the past two weeks to the point that on graduation day I cracked twice and started crying because I was overwhelmed by everything, stress, people and every part of me wanted to run away and lock myself in my room. Because that is the type of person that I am. When things get too much I like to hide away.
But I couldn’t, obviously. And before you say ‘but you act and people give you attention,” that’s attention for pretending to be someone else. However, I’m grateful for everything and everyone that was there that day to make it special. Hopefully when I feel better I can give everyone a proper thank you. Maybe put my cricut machine to good use.
And while you’ll probably say now “you can take a break” well I do have three jobs so there is no break for the weary. Also a vacation during this time is a little difficult. But I guess my afternoons are more open for me to do more creative work. Which I am excited about. Because while that sounds like more work creating helps to ease my soul. I’m laughing at myself. When will I ever sleep?
I am taking this Monday a little easier then most. I do have things to get done today but I am doing it an more a leisurely pace. Which is a huge sigh of relief for me.
I literally have no plans for the future or for life except for leaving Florida. That’s going to happen at some point. I just know that whatever job I decide I want to create so I’ll figure it out. I’ve done a lot of things in my life so I know if I keep trusting in myself and God I’ll make it through.
It is weird to think I am done. You spend years going to school learning new ideas, unlearning things that were taught inaccurately that when it’s done it’s just a weird feeling. And while I play around with the idea of a master’s degree it’s nothing that is incredibly important job wise for me. But I’ll take a few months to think about it. If I do go back to school it’ll be quick because I don’t want to spend more than 18 months. If you can’t tell by now I’m not that fond of school.
Thanks to everyone for helping the day feel special! It’s over! (For now…maybe…)
Also I’ve learned that PTSD for school is a thing. I literally can’t sleep because I keep thinking I have assignments due. It’s wild. But it might have to do with the fact that my assignments still haven’t been graded and yes I graduated yesterday. Makes no sense.
Anyway I hope everyone has a peaceful Monday morning. Don’t forget to drink water!