Growing up we were told to be quiet and listen. We were told to cover up. Boys will be boys ( as if that phrase justifies the crimes they commit). Well what was she wearing? Why was she there? Don’t you want kids? Don’t you want to get married? You’re a woman, you should know how to cook and clean.
If I want to go out, have a drink and dance in the middle of a club I will. Because it’s fun. Because I like it. I shouldn’t have to constantly look over my shoulder while carrying mace in my hand or making sure there is no one under my car or in the back seat. I shouldn’t have to push a man away for groping me without my permission and then immediately get called a bitch for simply denying myself from him. But it’s happened. Multiple times and continues to do so for women all over the world regardless of how they act or what they wear. I am sick and tired of having to prove my worth. I am sick and tired of watching what I say because I might sound smarter than a man. I will not diminish my light so he can shine. I’m tired of being quiet and taking the patriarchy beating that women before me were forced to endure.
I am not a bitch for speaking my mind. I am not a slut for telling you I am not interested. I am not an object for you to play with. Just because I have manners doesn’t mean I am flirting with you. I wear what I want to make me happy not to grab someone’s attention. Maybe I’ll have kids and maybe I won’t. That’s fine with me. Maybe I’ll get married, maybe I won’t. Once again that is fine with me. Why? Because at some point during my college years I realized that MY life as a woman is more than just being a wife and a mom (granted once again if that happens fantastic). I want to make sure I am happy. I am satisfied. I am successful by my own terms.
So it doesn’t matter whether I dress preppy or sporty, girly or grunge, conservative or revealing What matters is that I am happy with the blank canvas that I see every morning and night. Scars, dark circles, stretch marks, cellulite and all. Just because I wear a mini skirt and high heels doesn’t mean that I am not intelligent. I can be in a backless dress and carry a conversation on humanities, history, books and art. But I can also wear a knee length turtleneck dress and listen to Paramore or Snoop Dog. What I wear, watch or listen to doesn’t make me less of a woman, doesn’t make me less of a human being or push me away from what I believe. Because I am confident in who I am. I am confident in my relationship with the man upstairs and you can’t do or say anything to change that. You don’t control me. I control myself. What matters is when I shed the clothes of the day and wipe the makeup off my face I am smiling at the person I see.
I am strong.
I am talented.
I have faith.
I am loved.
I am funny.
I am a woman.
And women get shit done.